Sunday, September 26, 2010

the text from one of my 2005 journals, makes a little sense without the pictures

**= next page

soul mama, save me from my white boy destiny
ruminating look at my repetative thoughts
turn the lights off because tonight its all the way
now is not a good time to talk to me about the telephone bill
save me from my white boy destiny
dialogue with myself
-mmm how very interesting
3hours later
-hmmm I beg to differ
3 hours later
-hmmm how very interesting
like a detective without a case
free entry for ladies before 10pm
1/2 price drinks for ladies before 10pm
free champagne on arrival for the ladies before 10pm
save me from my whiteboy destiny
maybe some reggae Lee Scratch Perry Babylon sessions
dread my hair, live in a shanty, play records, drums, smoke weed, take me away from the phones, homes and automobiles
I need a recipe
theres nature and theres you and me
you R not alone
-any time for an appointment today?
how bout tomorrow?
-Ahh next week I'm free how bout then?
-see you then.....
a whole week....
SHES THE BEST, I've employed an actor to live my life I hate it
love the dacks
A DATE well that was my intention yes
the person you are calling is not answering
nana's gloves
how come scabnuts got the gig?
top heavy
baby take off your cool
I want to get to know you
as long as your waking
were all pretty fragile
figurative and still life painting throughout the ages
working blinded
the first sign of heair on my legs I will lose my boyish exhuberents
year 9
Sakana(fish)(japanese host student) wanted me to show him my penis in the back seat on the way to philip island
I felt awkward and denied
these moments were all the rage
the world was out to get me
too soft
life is a series of poses
for the model and yoga instructer
poses ease the pain
that time we went out I wasn't even there
I'm here now
can we go out again?
worry about their CULT STATUS
or do they just do their own thing
swell to be naive
broken fingers
small in stature
I'll wait out the front
fuck this I'm leaving
are you going to squish my fine features
just like Autumn leaves were in for change
wrapped up in nature
your talkin a lot but you ain't sayin nothin
Its time to change my perspective
blame painting
who made up this language
perspective workin well
draggin around my baggage
jealousy's a cancer
birds and sport interwoven
sport fixes everything
stuffed the birds and the general environment
visiting time is over
revolver 10am
Chickens perishing
Chickens partying eating perishing peri peri perishing
contemporary ant
was it about identity that thing you get when you're a teenager
better to light one small candle than to complain about the dark
yeah yeah yeahs, they don't love you like I love you
please end
the zone man the zone
suburban theatre
long time ago seemed like it was a very long time ago
the normal
sad he's not here to see this
you've done some silly things this takes the cake
you wanna go, you wanna piece of this
please please the critics they are unhappy and need pleasing
keep trying
the anti d's have kicked in nicely
coming soon
who edited the book of life?
keep that flame burning forever
hold on tight
I want to die poor
die poor
brain turd
brain constipated
what does that make you
I know you are you said you are so what am I
the severe loss felt by a school boy too timid to show the exchange student his love before she left
dedicated those living and dead
the now the now
if it makes you happy I'll die poor
your'e never going to part with me
- did you get me one
- you didn't ask
-you never asked me if I wanted one
-do you want me to go back and get you one
- no thats ok...
if you want another king of lover I'll were a mask for you
love's the only engine of survival
leave me how you found me
the sun pours down like honey all across her perfect body
I give you CRAZY EYES
free to stay
the New World
thats why you'll find him in the kitchen at party's
HERALD SUN- footy player yells at girlfriend in a bar
it still hits a raw nerve that one
lil babysitter
last years was better
the man was my weak spot
tis time to start again bullings
how does a spider with 8 eyes comprehend 4 times as much shit? must be pretty focused
there is more dead people than alive people, you just don't see them around
detroit cobra's- the man is my weak spot
bruce the man of berry's
beer for boys, champayne for ladies
gorillas are very much like peole bu not quite
remote area nurse
live to ride
breastfeeding at a gun show
I'm a combination of mum and dad obviously
footy footy yeah footy
I lost it at a gallery
I lost it at the movies
the 40year old virgin
don't underestimate staring out a window, as the schoolgirl has realized
some of my smiles are fake
back 2 nature
dancing for my psychotherapist
just don't lean on me, I'm unstable
off we rushed into the night
I suddenly realized I was in California
simple and true as a bunch of hobo's
-hi jenny
-hey rob how are you
-good yeah
-wow haven't seen you since highschool days
- yeah man seems like ages ago I hardly remember it, but I have a little more confidence now and I was wondering if you had Kim Parkinsons number or knew how to get in contact with her, I'd like to ask her out, I never had the nerve while at school
-ah no I haven't seen her in ages
-oh ok well how have you been anyway?
without any particular agreement we began holding hands
I covered a book in contact so fellow passengers would not know I was reading a book on ANXIETY
jump on the horse of life and ride
live to ride
I can't imagine it any other way
Self Help
prepearing conversations
see where it goes
dear mother can I follow my heart now
your body
can ou please call me genius when I'm dead
spread the word
cheers thanks a lot
damned if you do
angelina jolie
what are the chances
until we get there
verk verk verk
not much in me today
ah fuckin stick up me nose
do you like this that or the other
marianne faithfull is not faithfull on 'woman on a motorbike'
it would make life easier if I enjoyed physical tension and ruminating about why I hate you
tis hard letting ones guard down
uncle Rog carrying me out of ET stiff as a board, I really felt for that guy
cant stands ya
kant stanzya
game I don't wanna play with her if thats ok
life has a habit of getting in the way
sit down relax take your bra off
mighty sparrow
give space for pondering
a cat heading to parliament house
is that a 12 gallon hat
returning home to find we are all cave men, but cavemen go hunting, you could barely call us hunters, exchange the remote control for the club and go huntin
fuck you piece of shit phone
no good for communications everybody is either
'Sorry Blah Fucking Blah is not answering' or 'Sorry the Fuck you called has their phone switched off' or 'Sorry the Shit Lips you called is currently on the phone to Somebody Fucking Else'
do you view the world through a window or a mirror
dear artists dont worry people only look at art for a few mins at most, unless your unfortunate enough to see Drawing Restraint 9
this art work has been deighned to appeal to my lecturers and those in up market galleries
all the trappings
Hugh Hefner, safety in numbers
be cool if the cars that went by my window stopped
tweep tweep
vincent fecteeau
exclusive breathren
a progressive stance
chinese performance artist waiting to perform
talk to the email cos the ears dont wanna hear it honey
full on porno
sweet cool ah... no thanks
yeah that'd be great...not!!!
ah yeah sounds good... forget about it!!!
I just might die with a smile on my face
cops with indigestion
cities were a good idea at the start. Anybody got another idea
its good to know there are other anxious people
arts cryptic codes are cancer
like when you can't get comfy
you're my friend for the good times
don't tell me your worries what makes you angry
happy come on smile
frown upside down
cold midriff
I'm like a girl showing her midriff for the first time
I'm like a boy who smells his top lip and it reminds him of catfoo
I'm like a mother who can't ask her mother in law for help
I'm like a father who has very limited cooking skills but exotic tastes
good bye
get up off a that thing and dance till you feel better
my top lip smells like catfood
my balls smell like salt and vinegar chips
my armpits smell like spagetti bolognaise
what a day I'm a walking buffet
the next hello is the next goodbye
I have 800 photographs of men
I saw what I want and I went for them
Hugo's me name real estates me game but friday night lettin loose is my real passion
all you need is love
I can pay someone to do the stuff I don't want to do
karate boy atop a building
I dont know karate but I know karazy
ghanese boy traditional dancing
entertain the west
we have nothing to really do
tissues and a clipboard and maybe a glass of water
no fear
if in doubt get physical
maybe the hokey pokey is what its all about
the longer I spend with you the longer you spend with me
I make bad decisions you pay for
no gonna's no wanna's no shoulda's
where is my heart
Smoothe is now smoother
what a day to wear my new trousers
this city is a jungle and the animals come out at night
what would freud say about this
what the hell kind of sicko goes from G rated to R rated- Marlon Brando
he mostly ate mcdonalds on his trip
because he didn't care for japanese food
unfortunately this resulted in gout
good control of my facial muscles got me where I am today
it all started with attraction
attraction is a powerful dictator
I worship dark men my father never played games with me
business supports life here rather than rules it
nature will quietly pay us back

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Friday, September 17, 2010

morning affirmations

I'm single and I'm hot
I know what love is and how to give it
I'm a flower ripe for the pickin
I'm a butterfly ready to flutter
I'm a diamond just been dug up
I'm Kanye West
I'm the best
I'm soaking in love
this hell will pass
asleep at the beach
Jake Walker

watery pictures are emerging in the lounge area at home

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Loner Mask
by Kate Costello

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

portrait exchange

Lisa Reids portrait of me for the portrait exchange show opening this Sat 11th at art projects

11 September 2010 - 16 October 2010

Venue: Arts Project Australia Gallery
Opening: 11 September 2010, 3pm-5pm